Solomon Alfred Larien

---

Solomon Alfred Larien (/ˈsləmən ˈaelfrɪd lɛriyiən/SOL-o-mon AL-fred LARE-ee-n; born April 17 1999), also known by his nickname “Essay”, is an American conspiracy theorist.^{[citation needed]} He is the current Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist at Hope's Peak University, and is the first holder of the title.^[1]

Early Life and Career

Larien was reportedly born in New York City, New York, to politician Cassander J. Larien as the older brother of Victor Larien, who was previously considered for the position of Ultimate Fencer.^{[2][citation needed]} In 2015, Larien started his podcast, “Straight Facts” and blog of the same name, sharing stories and theories encompassing a wide range of topics.^[3][4] Fans of Larien often talked about the tone of his theories in his dedicated subreddit, “r/straightfactspodcast”, referring to most of his episodes and theories as pleasantly optimistic and hopeful despite their grim appearance and the nature of conspiracy theories in general.^[5] Larien’s “big break” was starring as a guest on the popular podcast “Public Hysteria”, hosted by Kai Lowe and Kyle Doyle.^[6] Larien’s appearance on the show brought in over double of his viewers at the time of release, and many attribute it to when Larien really started his proper career, separating fans as old and new based on whether they knew of him before or after his breakout success.^[3]

However, despite Larien’s successes, his podcast and career would cease entirely for a three month period in 2021. Later, it would be learned that in that period, Victor Larien was killed in an undisclosed manner, though rumors suspect gang violence, suicide, or even fratricide as possible causes.^{[2][5][citation needed]} Victor was buried by Larien in Chicago at a private cemetery with a private funeral.^[2] Since Victor Larien’s death, Larien’s podcast and blog materials have returned to their conspiracy theory nature, but are far more cynical and neatly organized, resembling something that an anonymous reddit user called, “actual investigations”.^{[5][citation needed]} Many of his fans, however, maintain that Larien simply shifted his humor from blatant nonsense to a more discrete, subversive flavor that is more “mature and becoming of someone of his popularity online and abroad”.^[5]

Rumors

As a popular conspiracy theorist, it would only be natural for Larien to be the subject of many conspiracies himself.^{[citation needed]} Amidst the more common and baseless theories of him being the second coming of Jesus Christ, Lucifer in disguise, or an alien invader that escaped from the US’s infamous Area 51, there are a handful of popular theories that regularly circulate throughout his forums, fanbases, and discussions.^{[5][citation needed]}

The "S.A." Theory

Originating from users u/assterrepo and u/javarndi on Larien’s subreddit, the “S.A.” theory is one of the oldest theories in Larien’s fanbase.^[5] While it initially gained little traction outside the spheres of old fans, it exploded following Victor Larien’s death. The theory is summarized as such:

Neither “Solomon Alfred” nor “Essay” are his real name; after one episode of his podcast got a little too close to the truth, the CIA came and erased some of his memories, including that of his real name. The only thing Essay had left with proof of his identity was a paper with the initials of S.A., and he worked from there. Additionally, the CIA may have been the ones to kill Victor Larien for the same reason Essay lost his memory of his name.^{[5][citation needed]}

The "Rose-Tinted Glasses" Theory

One of Larien’s signature icons is his round pair of rose-colored glasses. While some may attribute it to a fashion design, others believe that the glasses are used as a form of protection by Larien to keep himself sane.^{[citation needed]} Users u/taransto, u/popmister, and u/tutoridg collected a gallery of images of every time Essay’s eyes would look away from the camera, and using an ancient Mayan method of eye-coordinate communication discovered by an unknown source ten years ago, were able to de-code Larien’s message.^{[5][citation needed]} The message is summarized as “I H(A)V(E)()MAG(I)C E(Y)(E)S”, which led to an uproar in Larien’s fanbase.^{[5][citation missing][citation needed]}

Many wonder what he was trying to tell them by informing them of his eyes’ powers, but it would soon lead to the development of the infamous Butter Theory of Larien’s subreddit.^{[citation needed]} The Rose-Colored glasses portion of the theory comes from the sub-theory that the glasses either strengthen or weaken the power of Larien’s eyes’ powers to enhance his theories or protect his fans.^{[citation needed]} Some speculate that the red glasses he wears actually help offset his uncanny vision powers, if he ever doesn’t feel like exposing himself to the horrible truths of the world.^{[citation needed]}

The Butter Theory

The Butter Theory stemmed from the earlier popular “Rose-Colored Glasses” theory of Larien’s subreddit. User u/boygirlprincesz deduced that every stick of unsalted butter sold commercially in the the United States contained a trace amount of an unnamed compound.^{[5][citation needed]} This unnamed compound, called “Eyisite” by Larien’s fanbase, is believed to emit a similar frequency to that of rose quartz crystals, but at a much higher potency.^{[citation needed]} Because of this compound, when Larien was younger and decided to eat several sticks of butter when home alone at eight years old, the way he viewed the world began to physically change before his very eyes.^{[citation needed]} The frequencies of Eyisite would allow Larien to read the illegible, unwritten text written between the lines of lines written between the lines, furthering his investigative abilities and opening channels for him to read the unwritten subtext and meaning of every written document in English.^{[citation needed]}

Of course, every dairy company in the country is in on this, and they’ve tried to remove the mystery compound from the butter, but it’s unfortunately an integral part of the process of making butter with the milk of American cows, who eat grasses that contain these trace minerals in a raw, unrefined form.^{[citation needed]} Instead, they have put subliminal messaging in all of their advertisements which tells you to not eat butter in excess ever, and pooled funding into anti-high cholesterol “research”.^{[citation needed]} Essay once tried exposing them for that, but they just censored him for it. Some claim that the reason Essay still avidly eats butter to this day is to maintain his abilities by regularly ingesting the Eyisite.^{[5][citation needed]}

Some speculate that the dairy company offered to censor Essay’s exposé in exchange for giving him a lifetime supply of butter, though everyone in Larien’s fanbase agrees that even that would be silly.^{[5][citation needed]} Why would Essay Larien himself ever accept a deal from The Man?^{[citation needed]}

Acceptance to Hope's Peak University

The true reason for Larien’s acceptance to Hope’s Peak University has never been disclosed by Hope’s Peak University or Larien himself, making it another popular subject for rumors.^{[citation needed]} The most common and popular rumor amongst those who follow Larien is the simple theory that all of Larien’s theories are actually true.^{[5][citation needed]} They claim that Hope’s Peak took him in because they plan to cultivate his theory-crafting skills enough until he can make a set of theories they can use to systematically dismantle America’s government from top to bottom.^{[citation needed]} Then, once America has collapsed, that’s when Hope’s Peak will take over the country and create a world in which every single American is forced to maintain and hone a singular talent.^{[5][citation needed]} Larien is now in his 1st year at Hope's Peak University as of October 1st.^[2]

References

1. Hope’s Peak University. “Hope’s Peak University Student Roster”
2. The Chicago Tribune. “Man Found Dead Near River”
3. Straight Facts.
4. www.straightfacts.com
5. Reddit. “r/straightfactspodcast”